Edd x Marie
by balanceSON
Summary: Marie Kanker is assigned to be tutored by Edd. Because of Edd's constant nervousness, he makes a potion to boost his confidence.
1. Chapter One

Classes for Marie were nothing but dull and laborious. Time spent studying was time wasted. On weekdays, lunch was her Nirvana.

School didn't interest her. Instead, her interests were with the name written in blue on her notebook. She would replace the first name with her own and dream of a future.

Her and Edd were on top a hill with a singular tree with pink flowers. Petals fluttered around as Edd held his guitar with his toes and struck the chords.

"Wow," Marie leaned nearer to his socked head, "you're really good at playing guitar." You could practically see the hearts in her eyes.

Edd looked away, staring low to the ground. He had a cryptic aurora around him. "I know. It's pedal steel."

Whatever it was, it stole Marie and kept her in a high. If only the same could be said about her grades.

A previous exam covered her scripture and snapped her back to reality.

"Miss. Kanker," said the teacher who had handed the report. "Another 'F', just the same. Stop doodling," she looked at the notebook, "and your grades will improve."

Marie rolled her eyes and crumbled the exam. She was certain that school taught nothing except anger management. She would have thrown the paper ball at the teacher if only Edd had not been two seats to her left. That kind of behavior, she knew, was not attractive.

Instead, she aimed for the trashcan and hollered when it hit its mark. The teacher sighed but did not speak; the bell had rung.

The students sprinted out the door. Marie would have been there, too, with the other fortunate souls, if it weren't for the teacher.

"Marie Kanker, can we talk?"

Marie groaned. "Can I go?"

The teacher's hands were clasped, and Marie saw that refusal wasn't an option. She slugged over like a slimy slug.

"Your grades are bad, similar to your attitude." Marie thought nothing of this. "I do hate to see my students fail."

Marie had heard enough. "Look," she said and posed an akimbo, "if you're suggesting after school lessons, I'm not interested."

"Heavens no! I won't torture myself with that. I was merely offering a peer tutor."

Marie's eyes popped out and her jaw dropped. She'd rather not have other kids involved. Quite frankly, Marie was embarrassed of her grades.

The teacher laughed. "I haven't said who yet!"

"Who would it be?" Marie's face was impossible to differentiate if she was more embarrassed or more enraged.

"Edd. He's a very intelligent boy, I'm sure you know. In fact, he's probably preparing for your first lesson, which is tomorrow, right now."

"You mean he already knows?"

"Yes. Since yesterday." The teacher went on. "I assume he'll call you soon. Goodbye, Miss. Kanker, and have a wonderful evening."

Marie walked out the door in a fit of rage. What a dumb teacher to poke fun at her like that, she thought. Marie felt that this was just a sick, cruel joke.


	2. Chapter Two

Normally Edd would stay after school to study, but he had a mission. He rushed home and locked his bedroom door. Every good genius needs time to think, he thought.

Yesterday he was given the assignment to help Marie Kanker raise her grades. Teaching, he felt, was easy. What wasn't easy was him being able to be near her. It wasn't because she smelled or that she was unsightly. The opposite was true, because she smelled wonderful, and her looks were even better.

Instead, it was Edd's poor confidence that held him back. Being in close proximity of her caused his heart and lungs to swell. His body would be soaked in sweat, and his voice would variate between different levels of pitches, all of which sounded awful.

Clever Edd, however, had a plan. He would create the world's first confidence potion. There had been many before it, but his, he thought, would be the first to succeed.

He gathered numerious items, including his father's cologne, American cheese, beef jerky, a light dose of liquid iron, army ant feces, a granulated lock, and energy drinks. All of these were supplied in his house.

Once stirred together in a large cauldron, he vibrated the mixture with a trumpet. It was a strong instrument. So strong of an instrument that he didn't hear the heavy knocking at his door until it fell over.

"What're you doing, Double D?" It was Eddy, one of Edd's close friends. Following him was Edd's other close friend, Ed.

Ed sniffed the air. "Smells like metal." He bounced closer to Edd's potion, ready to take a sip.

Edd yelled. "Don't touch it, Ed!" He shooed Ed away.

"What's that?" asked Eddy, pointing at the cauldron.

"It's a potion. I have lessons to give to Marie Kanker tomorrow."

Eddy scratched his head. "So what's in it?"

Edd poured the liquid into a small bottle to allow his friends to admire his masterpiece. "Only the world's strongest, toughest materials. Or at least what I could find around my house."

"Can I have it, Double D?" Ed asked, reaching for the bottle.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that, Ed. I need it to tutor Marie."

"Why are you teaching her about potions?"

"I'm not, Eddy. This potion," Edd eyed the bottle, "is what is going to help me. It's called Co Po, AKA: confidence potion."

"Cow pow?" Eddy mimicked, staring at the bottle. "How long does it take to make?"

"I am not mass producing it for your profit!" exclaimed Edd. "Now, please, leave me alone. I still have to make alterations." He ushered the two out.


	3. Chapter Three

Edd had his nose stuck in his algebra book. The pages had sweat leaking down.

Marie insisted on having the lesson at her place. Edd tried focusing on the variables, but his mind was fogged because Marie Kanker was only 6.54 inches away. That, and also the polluted environment the Kanker's lived in.

There were rats stealing crumbs on the floor, although they were technically cleaning the home. Laundry was shrewn about, and Edd had to be careful not to step on glass shards scattered around.

"Well," Marie swooped in even closer, "did I get it right?"

They had been on the first chapter for over ten minutes. It was only the basics. Nonetheless, "Yes," Edd said, "your understanding of where to deposit x and y are canny."

"Hooray!" Marie snatched her trusty tube of lipstick and smeared it on her face. "Pucker up, lover boy!"

His face was turning some shade of green, but he did like the affection. This moment was what Co Fo was for, but it seemed to have a gradual effect because Edd wasn't feeling any more confident than before.

People like him cannot cooperate with these situations in a well manner. They're filled with anxiety and lack self-awareness.

Edd tried to shove her away.

"I think it's time for chemistry." She grabbed his jaw, but his sweaty figure slithered away.

"Great," exclaimed Edd while exchanging his algebra book for chemistry. "Then we can work on significant figures."

All other lessons followed the same pattern. Marie was persistent on getting a few hundred smooches every time. Edd, realizing that Co Po was definitely not effective, decided to increase his dosage.


	4. Chapter Four

"He gets the sweats all the time." Marie told her sisters, Lee and May, about the study sessions her and Edd were having.

"Ooh," Lee giggled, "I think he likes you!"

May whacked her sister on the head. "Don't be dumb, Lee. Nobody want to kiss a sweaty boy."

Lee glared at May. "Well," she said in defense, "when I kiss a boy, he gets sweaty."

"Tough luck."

"Shut up, you two. Tell me why he's always sweating."

"Let me spare you from Lee's gushy nonsense." She wrapped her arm over Marie's shoulders, like a mother guiding her child. "Right now, boys only have one thing they want, and it isn't kisses."

Confused, Marie asked, "And what's that?"

May leaned closely into Marie's ear and whispered.


	5. Chapter Five

Today the lesson was at Edd's house. Edd was the one who offered the location change, and it was secretly because he couldn't stand the living conditions the Kanker sisters lived in.

It was a chemistry lesson.

"And you see," said Edd, pointing to the drenched pages, "that's why the relationship between energy and frequency is considered direct."

Marie pushed the book aside. She leaned in.

Edd had looked like he had just taken a shower. "Marie, we really should-"

"I know what we should do." Marie was so close. She had been staring into his eyes, but then she took a sharp turn to his pants.

Edd gulped.

Marie laid her hands on his waist. Grabbing the belt of his pants, she began to slide them off.

"MARIE, STOP IT!" Edd screeched and pulled away. He was shaking very badly.

Marie got mad. "What's the big deal?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"For Heaven's sake, what's the deal with you?"

Her scowl dropped, and instead she felt embarrassed. "Aren't boys supposed to like that?"

Edd stared at her, not knowing where to begin. "I don't know," he admitted.

"Then why did you stop it?"

Edd realized what was happening. Lately his Co Po hadn't been working, but he oddly felt calm now. "Marie, I do like you."

Marie's face turned red.

"But I don't want that."

For a while, Marie couldn't say anything. Then: "I don't want that either. I was just doing what I thought I had to do." She paused. "I'm sorry."

She got up to leave.

Edd grabbed her hand. Using her arm to lift himself up, he stood in front of her.

His face burned. He couldn't tell if the feeling in his stomach was butterflies or an effect from Co Po.

"I want this, though," he said right before he kissed her lips.


End file.
